“If you don’t Have Anything Nice to Say…”

Time-honored techniques for coping when your aging parents are stressing you out

The parent-child relationship… To say it’s complicated is as understated as saying the world is a big place.

Let’s face it, even in their younger days, your mom and dad had a special way of grating on your nerves—something which has nothing to do with how much you love them. Continue reading ““If you don’t Have Anything Nice to Say…”” »

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When Your Aging Parents Hit the Road: Tips for Handling High Hospitality Hold Fees

As is the case with so many of us living in the sandwich generation, we are separated from our aging parents and our other adult siblings by miles, states and even coastlines. If we’re lucky, this means that Grandma and Grandpa are doing a great deal of traveling on their own in order to be with us, our own kids and other loved ones. Not one of us wants to imagine our aging mom and dad worried, or heaven forbid, stranded on the road during any leg of their travels because they’re suddenly strapped for cash. Continue reading “When Your Aging Parents Hit the Road: Tips for Handling High Hospitality Hold Fees” »

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Avoidance is Not the Answer

Last November, I wrote a blog post featuring 10 tips for a successful transition when moving an aging parent into one’s own home. Reviewing this post myself today, I can’t help but notice that the premise seems entirely senior-centric. The bulk of the effort seems to fall on the adult child and his or her own nuclear family, who are all expected to make the elder Mom and/or Dad as comfortable as possible in new surroundings.

In fact, no topic in my line of work hits harder than the subject of aging in place. Almost all elders wish to do it, while few have the luxury of choosing to do so, thanks to safety concerns and the often painful reality of growing old. To add insult to injury, their fate is being decided by someone whose diapers they used to change. Continue reading “Avoidance is Not the Answer” »

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How to Empower Your Aging Parents

No matter what the situation a member of the sandwich generation may face, be it the realization that your aging parent is no longer fit to drive a car or needs help remembering when to take his or her medications, or that one or both of your parents needs to be moved to an age-appropriate living facility, it is never easy to broach that discussion with your folks. Continue reading “How to Empower Your Aging Parents” »

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The Medication List: a (not too) Bitter Pill

I have a question for those of you in the sandwich generation–that demographic of adults who are trying to strike some measure of balance between your life as a mother, wife, sister, husband, career-person, etc., and as a caretaker of your aging parent(s).

Do you have an updated medication list for your parents? Do your parents even have one? If you answered yes and yes and figure you can stop reading now, just answer one more before you go: Do those lists match up?

If not, it’s time to take care of this—pronto. Continue reading “The Medication List: a (not too) Bitter Pill” »

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Tips for Moving Your Aging Parent into your Home

Recently, I worked with a family in a state of physical and emotional transition. The adult child had finally convinced her aging mom, who had begun suffering from dizzy spells and resultant falls, and even fractured a wrist, to make a permanent move to a safer place: her household—which included a husband and three active kids.

For this adult child and her husband, both working full time and raising their own family, moving Mom into their home seemed the easiest solution for keeping her safe.

But as everyone soon discovered, this endeavor would be anything but easy… for anyone. Continue reading “Tips for Moving Your Aging Parent into your Home” »

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Healthcare and Medical Insurance Scams Against Senior Citizens

As outlined in my most recent blog post, senior citizens have become a target group for today’s high-tech, savvy criminals, who do their brand of stealing via the internet. This particular posting highlighted the dangers of identity theft through website, malware and email phishing scams, as well as what our aging parents can learn to do to guard against such online attacks.

Unfortunately, my research on this topic led me to a bevy of other modern-day scams targeting the elderly. So great is this problem that organizations including the FBI, Scambusters and the National Council on Aging now list fraud against seniors as a subsection of its own—an offshoot from other known scams and online criminal activity affecting the majority population. Continue reading “Healthcare and Medical Insurance Scams Against Senior Citizens” »

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Gone Phishing: How to Avoid a Crisis of Identity (Theft)

With age comes wisdom… except, perhaps, for many senior citizens still growing accustomed to the ever-burgeoning age of technology.

While the Internet has brought global connection to our fingertips, it has also made seniors a glaring target for Internet thieves, most notably those behind the growing number of phishing scams aimed directly at our aging parents. Continue reading “Gone Phishing: How to Avoid a Crisis of Identity (Theft)” »

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Caring for a parent despite the past

I received a phone call the other day, during which the caller posed this question to me: “Rabbi Saulson,” she asked, “Am I obligated to care for my aging father—a man who behaved viciously to my mother, my siblings and me throughout our lives?” Continue reading “Caring for a parent despite the past” »

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Planning For the Year Ahead With Your Aging Mom and Dad

With the start of a brand new year, it’s time to re-evaluate the needs of your aging mom and dad. A few minutes’ time invested on the front end will pay off in less stress on you, the adult caregiver, and even more important, in the knowledge that your parents’ care will not fall through the cracks of your own busy life.

Everyone’s family situation is different, of course, but here is a basic list of areas to consider: Continue reading “Planning For the Year Ahead With Your Aging Mom and Dad” »

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